Game of Idiots
by warugiriia
Summary: little bit of pointless fluff I wrote a while back. BeaBato / Beatrice x Battler


Battler slowly moved his knight forward, and nodded to himself, as though confirming to himself that that was a good move. Immediately, Beato cackled maniacally and pushed her castle forward, eliminating his knight from the game board. "Check, Battleerrr~ Kyahahahaha~!" She laughed as he mentally cursed himself for forgetting to look out for her castle. He moved his king out of the way, and Beatrice moved her bishop further down a little, putting Battler in check again. Then Battler moved his king again. Then she moved her castle. Check. He moved his king. She moved her bishop. Check. He moved his king yet again. She pushed her knight forward. Check again.

Battler gave a loud cry of frustration. "Kyaaargh you stupid witch, just checkmate me and get it over with!" He hit the table angrily. "But it's fun to watch you run away pathetically like that, Battleeeeerrrr~" Beatrice laughed maniacally again. "Well then, how about this: let's start a new game, and if you can beat me you get to ask me of _one_ favor! And similarly, if you lose, I get to ask you for one favor! How does that sound?" Beato grinned widely. "So... Like a punishment game?" Battler asked. "Yeah, like the ones in _Higurashi no Naku Koro ni_! I might make you dress up as a maid and parade you around, kikiki, kyahahahahahaha!" That laugh again.

"Alright theN! I, Ushiromiya Battler, accept your challenge!" The two rearranged their pieces again and began. Battler moved his pawn forward slowly, brow furrowed in concentration. 10 minutes into the game, he found himself slowly losing piece after piece as the Golden Witch mercilessly attacked him, cutting into all his strategies and removing pawn after pawn until finally all the pieces he still had were his knight, his king, two pawns, and a bishop. Beato, however, had her queen, her king, three pawns, both her bishops and a castle. _Damn... Beato may be a huge idiot, but she's excellent at chess..._ Battler thought, moving his pawn diagonally, removing her castle from the gameboard. That was a huge mistake, he realized it even before her unladylike, shrill cackling began again and she pushed her queen forward with her index finger, checkmating him.

"It's useless, it's all useless! Aaaarghhh!" He pulled his hair in a fit of anger. Beato laughed inelegantly again, and leaned forward. "Now you have to do as I say, Ushiromiya Battleeeeerrrr~" She grinned widely. Battler groaned. He knew she'd probably do something like make him wear a frilly pink maid outfit with lace on the edges and go around the metaworld asking everyone if they needed his services or something equally bad. Damn, he should _never_ have suggested buying those _Higurashi_ DVDs for Beato to Virgilia. Beatrice mustered up her courage, her heart thudding.

"Well, do you want me to stuff you into a pink maid outfit with lots of lace and send you around Purgatorio? I can even let you choose the costume you'll have to wear! Kyahahahahaahaa!" She laughed. He only thought that it was so bizarre that she'd just echoed his thoughts for a moment, before he leaned forward, a stupid idea suddenly materializing in his brain. "What if I just kiss you instead, you pervert?" He asked, before her leaned over the chessboard still displaying Beato's victory, and kissed her gently. Her lips were warm, slightly parted, and all Battler wanted to so was keep his mouth covering hers' forever. He could smell a faint aroma of roses and black tea from her skin, a unique trait that just made Beato _Beato_ , and he grinned against her lips. Her fingers curled into his hair, but not harshly, just gently and affectionately. However, their kiss didn't last long, and it was Battler who pulled away before she did. He didn't want to get distracted from their game, didn't want to forget that she was his enemy, and nothing more. That, and Gretel had just walked in, her face darkening at the sight of the Golden Witch's lips pressed against her brother's, her eyes closed, and both their cheeks red.

"Ehem." Gretel cleared her throat and sent both of them a look that could've frozen Beatrice's steaming cup of unfinished tea. "I see that I'm interrupting something. Battler, when you're finally ready to be serious with the game again, please let me know. I'm going to leave you two alone. If you'll excuse me." The redheaded girl left the room in a fit of anger, her fists clenched. How _dare_ that witch kiss her onii-chan! Gretel, no, _Ange_ wished her brother would just be serious for once. Perhaps he was now yelling at the witch for deceiving him again. With a satisfied smile on her face, she headed out to the rose garden to meet with Mammon.

Back in the tearoom, Beatrice and Battler stared at each other for a while and didn't say anything. "So, um..." Battler began at the exact same moment Beato growled in annoyance and said "well, what are you waiting for? Kiss me again, you incompetent fool." With a happy grin that showed that he was much more than happy to oblige, he leaned over and kissed the woman he loved once more, this time with her hands grabbing the front of his shirt tightly. "Hey, what are you doing?" He frowned. "It's to make sure you don't pull away even if Gretel or Ronove show up, idiot. Now kiss me again." He covered her lips with his once more, and he started to wish that he'd be able to hold her close to him as he'd wanted to do for a very long time already. _It's really nice to see the cuter side of Beato every once in a while. But wait, hold on just a minute..._ Battler pulled away again, much to Beatrice's immense annoyance. "Did I hear you say you were going to put me into a maid costume? That means you're in possession of said costume, right~?" He grinned. Beato blushed darkly, pushing him away and muttering "idiot". And so that was how their stupid, pointless bickering started all over again, only this time whenever either one of them couldn't think of a reply, they just kissed the other to shut them up.


End file.
